Antique Telescope Stolen

Boca Laripa: A medieval optical instrument, roughly analogous to the modern telescope was stolen from the Art and History Museum of Anthroppological Artefacts at Mussolinia during an official ceremony. The instrument is believed to be the property of King Cophetua (A.D. 1251- 1305). It is well known that the king used the telescope to peer down unseen, at the beggar-maid in the street below, whom he later had to marry when his parents found out.

The Vice-Prez of the Museum Welfare Association and many other dignitaries were present for the inauguration of a new Stone Age extension to the museum. During the diversion created by this furore, the brass telescope was pinched by an “anonymous guest”, as per the police statement. The curator, Abram Mathiewez, in a tear-drenched press release stated, ” It is a great misfortune. It was priceless. One of the most legendary hand-me-downs in history [sic]…The CCTV has captured the glass shattering and parts of a white-gloved hand. We will soon be nabbing him[sic] who has done this heinous crime.”

Fake News @ CLOWNIN’

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